Vignettes
by orangeyouglad8
Summary: Moments and pieces of a love story.
1. The Ballet

We're going to the ballet tonight. I've been wanting to go to the ballet forever and ever. I told you that on one of our first dates. I know, it seems weird that I've never been, I'm a dancer. I mean, I've been to ballets, but I've never been to _THE_ ballet. Your eyes sparkled when you handed me the tickets in an envelope this morning, before you pecked my cheek and told me to wear something pretty, turning around and smirking as you left the apartment to head to the studio.

You knew exactly what you were doing. You left me wanting. Your devilish smirk burned into my brain until later tonight.

You texted me in the afternoon and said you were getting ready at the studio and you'd be by to pick me up, from our shared apartment, at 6. Just in time for a quick dinner before the show.

My heart melted. I was a puddle in the floor.

We've been dating for over a year now. It's not our anniversary. It's not my birthday. I can't think of any reason for you to do something this big and sweet. The butterflies that seem never ending when I'm with you or when I'm thinking about you or when I'm looking at you have taken flight again in my belly.

I decide to curl my hair and pull it up into a fancy updo and throw on that blue dress that you love. The one I bought for my cousin's wedding. The one that made your eyes bug out of your head when I walked out of the dressing room. I think I could actually see your brain short circuit that day. It's one of my favorite memories of you, baby.

I haven't worn that blue dress for you yet. I wore it to the wedding and tucked it away for a special occasion. Or for when I wanted to tease you. This is definitely that moment.

I spritz on your favorite perfume and pull on your favorite pair of lace panties and the necklace you gave me for our one year anniversary. I look good, I know, but my favorite accessory is the smile I haven't been able to wipe off my face since this morning.

You know what you do to me, babe. I know you know.

I hear a soft knock at the door as I'm getting my clutch ready and trot over. The butterflies somersaulting. I open it and you're there in a slinky black dress, your long dark hair straightened over one shoulder, a delicate necklace dangling down your cleavage. I hear myself gasp, and then I giggle when you look at me with those bugged out eyes again. Guess you really like this dress. You rake over me a couple more times and I see you lick your lips. You make me feel so, so beautiful.

You stammer out a soft '_Hi_' and hand me a bouquet of flowers. I accept them with an equally soft, '_baby_' and pull you in the house for a minute. I place the flowers in the empty vase on the table and fill it with water. I smile as I remember the look on your face the first time I brought you flowers. You looked at me with amazement in your eyes, like you couldn't believe I would want to make you happy.

It's another one of my favorite moments of you.

I smile again as I see you ogling my dress. You've never been discreet, babe. Not even on that subway platform. I'm just so glad we were heading to the same party that night.

I head back to you, putting some extra oomph in my steps and watch as your eyes slowly travel back to mine. Their dark and lusty already, but there's no way we're missing this ballet.

I give you a soft peck on your cheek, lingering longer than you did this morning, and whisper in your ear, '_Later'_. I grab your hand and fold your fingers with mine, pulling you out the door.

There's a town car outside. I hear you giggle as I stop and turn to look at you with wide eyes. You just shrug nonchalantly and say something about how it's a special night and open the door for me. I slide into the car and pull you in with me, dragging you close to me so I can give you more than a sweet peck on the cheek.

When you pull away you are breathless and looking at me like I just breathed life into you. Your eyes are on fire and you look at me like I'm the greatest thing in the entire world. And, right now, I feel like I am, baby. I hope I look at you the same way.

We end up at the restaurant where we had our first date, and I laugh at how overdressed we arebut I don't really care. For a second I wonder if you're going to propose tonight. It would be just like you, to propose the same week I finally get my act together to buy you a ring, and steal my thunder.

You're shyer than usual while we eat, which raises my suspicions. We keep glancing at each other, in a soft silence while we eat. Stealing looks and small, shy smiles. We talk quietly every so often, but it's a dinner of content silence between us. It's as if we both understand this moment, how it stands outside of time.

I don't fight you for the check when it comes, I know you had this whole evening planned and you want to lead. You're so cute when you do grand gestures like this, baby. You get so shy and small like you're afraid I won't like what you've planned or something equally as crazy. But, what you don't understand is that you're it for me. You've been it for me since our first kiss. Since before our first kiss. Since that first genuine smile I was able to put on your face.

You place your hand on the small of my back as we head out of the restaurant. Baby, I love when you do that. I look at you and smile in a way that I hope you'll understand means that. I've told you before that I love it.

The town car weaves through the crowded streets and we make our way to Lincoln Center. The city looks so beautiful tonight. Your hand is woven with mine between us on the seat, your thumb absentmindedly drawing circles on my hand. I see something interesting outside and turn to get your attention, but I find you looking at me already. Your eyes soft with love. I smile and lean over to give you a gentle kiss, leaning my forehead against yours to stare deeply into your eyes, before kissing you softly again. I whisper '_I love you'_ against your lips, and feel you react more than see it. You hand squeezes mine and you kiss my nose and my forehead before pulling away.

We pull up close to Lincoln Center and I can feel my body buzzing with excitement. I step out of the car and hear you say something to the driver, but can't pay attention. I'm too busy people watching and trying to calm the butterflies which have once again taken up their antics in my belly.

I reach inside and help you step out of the car, pulling you into me as soon as you're straight on the pavement. You let out a bark of laughter when I start dancing and bouncing in place with anticipation. I giggle and start pulling you towards the entrance.

I love when you bark with laughter, it always sends a spark to my heart. You look so alive when you do that.

We present out tickets at the door and are led inside. It's beautiful here. I can feel my face splitting with happiness when I look at you. We're both impressed. Our seats are fabulous and I shouldn't be impressed by how much thought you put into this, but I am. I'm always impressed when I'm reminded just how much you feel for me.

We sit in a happy silence taking in our surroundings for a few minutes. I look through the program, reading about all the company, and feeling my heart fill with that strange feeling it gets when I watch other dancers.

The lights dim and the Orchestra starts to play, and I reach over and grab your hand, squeezing it in anticipation. I hear a breathy giggle as you squeeze back. And then it starts and I am mesmerized, enchanted, enthralled. It's every bit as magical as I thought it would be. I get lost in the music and the movement, the only thing grounding me is your hand in mine. I feel myself lean towards the stage to try to get closer, as close as I can to the spinning and twirling, following and studying their movements with trained eyes. I feel myself tear up a few times with the splendor before me. I hear your soft gasps and breaths next to me, and I know you're just as in awe as I am.

We don't get to talk at intermission; you bolt out of your seat cursing the wine you drank at dinner and run to the bathroom. The line must have been super long because you don't make it back until the lights start dimming again. I haven't moved, though. I'm still sitting and absorbing everything around me. You slide into your seat and grab my hand again, and I feel you lean over to kiss my ear.

It's not until the ballet is almost over that I break out of my trance for a moment, and turn to look at you. I want to see your face, I want to know if you love this as much as I do. But, when I turn my head ever so slightly, I see you looking at me. You've been watching me watch the show. I give my full attention to you for a moment, meeting your eyes as they sparkle in the lights bouncing off the stage. They way you're looking at me, it's as if I can feel every part of you. I smile and glance down at your full lips before giving you another kiss. Harder than the others we've shared all night, but just as quick.

I smile at you and pull you onto my shoulder as we continue watching the show. I don't know how long you've been looking at mebut I want you to see some of this magic.

When the ballet ends we stand to applaud, and I wipe the few tears that have escaped my eyes. I look at you and smile as big as I can and tell you just how much I loved it. You laugh and smirk at me and say you knew I would. But, I won't let you get away with brushing it off. I grab your face and make you look at me, before I repeat again how much I loved it. Your face softens I know you heard me. And I know you know that I don't want you to sass your way out of the compliment. You get shy again and smile your full, dimpled smile at me, before replying that you're glad.

I rub my thumbs along your cheeks and stare at you for a moment as our area of the theatre starts to clear out. You're so special to me, and I want you to feel it. I need to make you feel it. When your eyes start to fill with all the love and wonder that I'm trying to pass into you, I know that you do. I know that you feel it.

We start to head out of the theatre and you put your hand on the small of my back again as we weave through the crowd. It feels so right there, and I can feel your warmth spreading all over me. We stop by the fountain and take a few pictures, not wanting this night to end. I kiss your dimple at the last second as you snap one and you giggle. A young man offers to take a few for us, so you hand him your phone and we smile and pose. We stay for a few more minutes until I can't stand it anymore, and pull you towards the car. I just need to get you home.

We spend the car ride in silence, as close to each other as we can get without getting obscene in the backseat. I leave a trail of soft kisses on your cheek, your ear, your neck, not getting too heavy, but letting you know what I'm thinking about. I can feel your heart beating wildly underneath my lips as they graze your pulse point.

I stop and sigh and lean into your neck, resting my head on your shoulder. Your arm is behind my shoulders, pulling me closer into you. You start humming softly under your breath and I toy with the fingers of your other hand on your lap. I'm so happy and content and alive right now. I don't know what I ever did in this life to deserve you, babe, but I would do it again and again and again.

I remember that we took pictures at the fountain and pull your phone out of your clutch to swipe through them. They're adorable and we look so good together, so happy, so in love. I giggle when I get to the picture of me kissing your cheek as you snapped the photo. It's so us. You kiss my forehead and squeeze my shoulders tighter. I flip through the few that the friendly stranger took of us, and swoon when I get to the last one. I'm smiling at the camera and my eyes are sparkling in the night, but you, you're looking at me, adoration splayed across your face. You are smiling your biggest, dimpliest smile, the smile I know you only use on me smile, at me. And I am so, so, so in love with you. I drop the phone back into your lap and grab your face with my free hand, bringing you the short distance to my mouth in one swift motion, and kiss you with all the passion, love and reverence I have for you.

It's long, deep, life affirming.

Neither one of us has noticed the car has stopped moving until the door opens behind you and we both gasp. The driver is polite and smiles, and ignores our lipstick smudged mouths as we climb out and thank him. You slyly hand him some money as you shake his hand and say goodnight, while I climb the steps to the apartment, keys in hand.

I hear your high heels approach me as I try to unlock our front door down the hall, but can't seem to remember coordination. Before I have a chance to think your body is against my back and you're attacking my neck with those beautiful lips. You reach your hand down to mine to help me unlock our door, but I can't think. I turn around and meet your lips with my own in a searing kiss, my hands on your waist trying to pull you closer into me. I hear you jingling the keys and know you're having just as much trouble as I was trying to remember how to unlock a door. You pull away and try to focus, but I bury my head against your neck and slide my hands to your ass and I hear you growl in frustration and lust.

The door finally opens behind me and we both stumble into our apartment, giggling, shedding our heels and throwing our purses onto the couch. You tangle your hands into my hair and pull me into you again, all teeth and tongue and want.

You pull away and rake your eyes down my body again, leaning in to whisper as you nip my ear '_I've wanted to do that since you opened the door in this dress._' Your voice all husky, dripping with lust and desire.

I groan, and reply into your mouth '_That's why I wore it_.'

You push me towards the bedroom and ravish me with pleasure. I didn't think I could ever feel closer to you than I already did, but I was wrong. My love for you grows with each new day, and I know that I will always find new ways to feel closer to you.

You smile your most impish smile and I know you're proud of yourself. I pull you to my lips and flip you over, returning the favor with as much adoration and love as I can pour into you.

It's not until we're curled up against each other, sleepy and sated, that I kiss you and thank you for the wonderful night. I'm still buzzing with my feelings for you and I feel you sigh against me. I know you're drifting off to sleep, but I remember something. Softly, I ask '_Sweetie, why did you say tonight was a special night? What did you mean?' _

I feel you cheeks bunch up in a grin as you kiss my collarbone and sleepily reply '_Every night is a special night when I'm with you. It doesn't always have to be a special occasion or anniversary for grand gestures, baby.' _

And my heart flip flops, and the butterflies spaz out, and I breathe deep and realize that I love you even more than I did five minutes ago.


	2. Take Out

You're being a big brat tonight. You're tired and run down and sore. Your shoulders are hunched and droopy when you walk in the door, your eyes a greyer blue than normal. Preparing for this goddamn tour is taking its toll on you. I've been doing my best- suggesting quiet things we can do together, massaging your sore calves and feet, giving you slow, melty kisses so you know how I feel even though we haven't had sex in a while.

Maybe that's why you're so grumpy. I can't figure you out. I've tried to start stuff a couple of times, but you've been so, so tired, baby. I don't want to push it.

I miss you. You're still here, but you're a zombie. Even though you smile at me and your eyes still light up, and you still make me giggle, and you curl into me like I'm the only thing connecting you to the earth. But, you're tired and pouty and bratty. And I'm grumpy and snappy because I've been working longer, too. And our moods are rubbing off on each other. I wish we were rubbing something else off on each other.

But, I love you. Maybe even more than before. Seeing this side of you and still wanting to be with you, be near you, makes my heart sing. You're driving me crazy, but there's no one else I want to drive me crazy. Your brand of crazy is my favorite.

So, here we are for what seems like the millionth time this week trying not to let our bad moods affect our relationship. You're here early, which is good, but more tired than usual, which isn't. You had a particularly hard, technical, rehearsal today and you were drenched with sweat when you arrived on my doorstep. Sometimes you shower at the studio, but you were so tired you forgot your bag this morning. I smile and let you in, pulling you in for a sweaty hug, which you melt into. Your sweat is sweet sweat, and I love the way it smells on you. I kiss your neck and send you off to my shower with a swat on the ass. You giggle and trudge away, and I watch your long legs sashay around the corner.

I'm sitting on the couch writing when you round the corner again, your body encased in my towel, your blond hair dark and dripping down your shoulders. I let my eyes graze over you and smile, you look like you're headed to my bedroom to pilfer some sweats. I love the way my clothes look on you. But you surprise me and continue walking over to the couch, approaching me with a familiar glint in your eyes, straddling me in all your toweled glory.

You bend down and claim my lips, and all I can do is gasp. Your hair falls around us, dripping down my shirt, sending more chills down my spine. Your hands grasp my face, pulling me into you as you grind down on my hips. We both moan. I wrap my hands around your back and start to run them up and down before grabbing your ass and pulling you into me. I could feel your towel loosening and you don't make any moves to catch it. This was it, maybe we'd finally get naked.

Just then my phone started to ring. I groaned and paused my lips, which were trying to steal away to collect the water off your neck. You pull away a little and tell me to ignore it. I do, your neck more worthy of my attention. Just as I start making my way to your collarbone, your phone starts to ring from the table. It's your mother's ring tone. We both know it, we both hear it. You try to ignore it, pulling my head into you, wanting me to keep working, but as soon as your phone stopped it started again. With a growl of frustration you hop off me and slide the call open.

Panting, I sit on the couch watching you try to fix the towel, give up, and saunter to my bedroom naked, sending me an apologetic look over your shoulder. It shouldn't have been teasing, but it was. After a few deep breaths, I run my hands through my hair and pull myself off the couch, picking up the towel and placing it in the bathroom. I grab a stack of take out menus out of the kitchen and plop back down on the sofa trying to decide what to eat, resigned to the fact that your mother just cooled off our sweet lady kisses.

I can't be too mad, though. You've been so busy you haven't really had time for anyone but me. I feel special and spoiled that I get the little amount of attention you have to give. I get to fall asleep with you and wake up with you and kiss you before you head off to dance. We spend most nights together at my place. The ones we don't spend together kill me, but I'll have to get used to it. You'll be gone for a month and I'll go back to sleeping alone, hugging my pillow.

You're still on the phone when you come out of my bedroom. Your hair is a crazy mess and you're wearing my favorite t-shirt and an old, ripped, pair of sweats. You shoot me a smile that makes me feel like I could jump over the moon, and lie down on the couch with your long legs stretched over my lap. With your free hand you grab mine and link our fingers together, squeezing them as you give me another soft smile.

Baby, you're so cute when you do things like that.

I can tell you're bored with your mother's conversation, but you won't end the call. Not yet. You haven't talked to her in a while and she misses you and your little sister. Your dad joined a bowling league, must be a family trait, so he's busy some nights during the week.

You let go of my hand and instead start tracing patters on my palm and up my wrist. It tickles, but in the good way that I like. My stomach rumbles and I look at the stack of menus in my hand, choosing one I'd like and holding it up for you to look at. You shake your head and scrunch your nose in disapproval. I move on to another one and you vehemently shake your head back and forth a couple of times. I pick up one that you usually love, and am met with a '_No, babe_' and a grimace. I let out an annoyed sigh and roll my eyes. You move the phone for a second and say, "_I'm so hungry, I'm not hungry. You should just pick one, honey._"

I snap, "_I've been trying to do that for half an hour!_" You pout, wiggle your toes and draw a heart on my palm as you listen to your mom.

I sigh again and take a deep breath, closing my eyes and resting my head on the back of the couch. You're infuriating sometimes. I can feel my hunger hulk lurking in the background and I don't want to get snappier with you than I already have been, so I pull out your favorite menu, head to the kitchen with my phone to order your favorite appetizer and a few entrees we can split. I hear you start to finish up with your mom as I open a bottle of wine. You slide up behind me and kiss my neck, wrapping your arms around my waist. I love when you do that. You mumble some incoherent apologies into my skin, but I don't need them. I just need you. I turn around in your arms and meet your lips with a kiss. It's heated and passionate and everything we've been missing for the past couple of weeks. I feel you lift me onto the counter and smile into you. Your hands are quick as they peel off my shirt, taking my bra with it. You mouth roams my chest, driving me mad. I grip your waist with my legs and pull you further into me, as far as you can go, and start moving against you. Your tongue is dancing in my mouth and I let you lead, I will follow wherever you want to go. Your wet hair stings my skin as it moves with your frenzied air.

You quickly remove my pants and before I know it you're inside of me, thrusting into me with your hips, working me up with skill no one else has ever had before. I tug on your hair to pull your face out of my neck and look deep into your eyes as I feel that warm wave wash over me, quicker than I would like. I'm not embarrassed though, you've been able to get me and see me and understand me like none other.

I slide down off the counter, sliding down your body until I'm kneeling at your feet and your sweatpants are around your ankles. You're not wearing anything underneath and I almost come again right there. I kiss my way up your legs, pushing you back until you're leaning on the island in the middle of the kitchen, moaning and writhing above me. You climax harder than I have ever seen before, except for maybe our first time.

You slide down to meet me on the floor, your legs giving out beneath you, and give me a sloppy smile. You kiss me clean, and hum into my mouth.

We sit there breathing each other in for a few moments before you start giggling. I giggle, too and ask you what's so silly. You breathlessly say, "_This wasn't how I pictured breaking our dry spell."_

I laugh, "I_ didn't picture it either, but I wouldn't have it any other way_."

I kiss your ear and whisper, "_I don't think I've ever seen you come that hard before_." You blush, and I kiss your red cheeks, "_It was hot… so, so hot_." Before you have time to react, I slide my fingers inside of you, and you gasp into my mouth as I work you up quickly. I just want to watch you fall over the edge again, you're so, so beautiful when you break, baby. Your body shudders with release and I kiss my way around your face. You curl into me like a sleepy kitten while you catch your breath and I laugh some more when I tell you it's only been two weeks.

It feels a lot longer when you're used to getting some most nights a week.

We're still piled together on the floor when the doorbell buzzes. You're more clothed than I am, so you pull your pants up and hop to the door to get dinner. I stand up and throw my shirt and pants back on, tossing my underwear and bra in the bedroom. I hear you grabbing the wine and some glasses in the kitchen and I unpack our food. Your favorite show is on in a few minutes and I can't wait to cuddle up on the couch with you, especially in this haze of love.

I hate that I've felt whiny and grumpy while you've had rehearsal. I don't want to be that girl. I'm not that girl. I won't be that girl. You're working so hard, babe, so hard. I love that about you, you are unfailing in your drive to be the best. And you drive me to be the best, too. I've written so many songs, so many melodies since you came around.

We sit as close as possible on the couch, underneath a blanket, passing cartons back and forth between us as we watch your show. For someone who said she wasn't hungry, you don't stop eating until almost everything is gone. When you finally lean back and smile a shy smile at me, I just laugh and kiss you.

We settle into a quite serenity on the couch. Your legs are over mine, but my head is on your chest. You scrape your blunt nails through my hair, and it feels so good I'd be purring if I could. I love sinking into you like this. Feeling you breathe beneath me, feeling your heartbeat, feeling you vibrate when you talk.

You make me melt, baby.

I pull you to the bedroom when your show is over, peeling back the sheets and letting you slide in. You're half asleep and so, so adorable. I clean up the living room and brush my teeth before joining you. You curl into me as soon as I'm under the covers, your head resting in my neck, your arm over my chest, your legs intertwined in mine. I hear you sigh in contentment and kiss the top of your head.

I feel you mumble something into my skin, and softly ask you to repeat it. You lean up and kiss my cheek where my dimple would be, explaining _"I forgot to tell you that I have the morning off tomorrow." _

I giggle and squeeze you closer to me. How do you forget the best things? My heart fills with my love for you.

You continue, "_All_ _I want to do is sleep in with you, I'm looking forward to not rushing_."

You settle back into my neck and I feel your breath ghost across my skin. I squeeze you to me and make a silent promise to make you breakfast in bed.

You love breakfast in bed.

And you love me.


	3. Lost

I turn and look at you. You're staring straight ahead, refusing to meet my eyes. But, I see your shoulders, straight and tense, and the lines on your brow. I take a deep breath and look forward, too. Choosing to study what you're staring at so intently. We sit like that for a few moments. The air still thick with the argument that led us here. It's a tense silence, not the comfortable one we are so used to. Well, actually no, this silence has become more familiar over time. Over the past few weeks. We're falling out of the honeymoon phase we've been in for the past two years. I welcome it, this new development in our relationship. I love it, actually, in the moments after the silence. It means we're evolving, growing, and becoming something new and different. But, in the silence, in the silence I hate it. Your eyes and body language tell me everything.

We're lost. And we're late. But, mainly we're just lost. It's partly my fault, and partly your fault. Your silence screams that it's all me. But, after the dust has settled you'll chuckle and say you shouldn't have taken so long in the bathroom. And I'll chuckle back and tell you that it's ok because you're anxious and worried and always want to make a good first impression. Baby, you know that you always make a good first impression, even when you feel like you don't. Everyone sees how I look at you. But more importantly they see how you look at me, and that look, that look is all that matters.

I'm still staring straight ahead. There are trees, flowers, spotty sun through the leaves all beyond the dashboard, windshield, hood of the car. I hear you take a deep breath and sigh. It's audible and resigned and I know your icy exterior is melting. Soon it will be nothing but a puddle on the floor. I don't want to look at you yet. If I look at you too soon, we'll continue the cycle. It's hard in the car, when we can't walk away and give each other the space we both need. But, it's comforting too because it makes us work harder to get over it. I like it. I love it in the moments when the dust has settled. But when we're in it, baby, when we're in it it's hard.

So I stare straight ahead. I lower my gaze down to the dash showing you that I heard you. I take another steadying breath. Out of the corner of my eye I see your hand crawl to my knee. You gently place it there and give it a short squeeze before smoothing your thumb in small circles, your warmth seeping into me. I lift my eyes and I see your dark ones looking back. A small smirk graces your lips and you squeeze my knee again.

I give you a half smile, because that's all I can muster right now. But the way you're looking at me, the way your eyes stay clouded with the sorrys you won't say right now, the way that melts me, too. You'll say those words in time, but not yet. They don't really matter in the long run. They matter, but not as much as they matter to others. Your eyes and body language tell me everything I need to know. I can tell by the way you blink that you see the smile in my eyes. The gentle reassurance that we'll move on, like we always do because since the second I met you I knew I would walk with you, beside you, wherever we chose to go. The way you look at me, the way you relax and I can see you breathe clearly, the way your lips remain in a permanent upturn no matter what we're doing, those things tell me we share that belief.

Baby, the way you're looking at me now, it kills me.

You reach down and pick up the phone you tossed to the floor in anger, annoyance, nerves. I can see you tapping away and I know in a few moments you'll direct me where to go and I will let you. I will let you because I know it'll calm your nerves. I will let you because you'll have instructions from the gps in your phone. I will let you because I know when to compromise. I will let you because you look at me in that way that cuts straight to my core.

I sit and stare straight ahead again while you tap away. You start humming under your breath, finishing the song that was playing on the radio before we turned the car off. I smile to myself. I love it when you sing, hum, mumble. I sit and smile to myself even more thinking about the other sounds that you make. The sounds that drive me crazy, drive me wild, drive me insane. I feel my face heat up thinking about how I'll get you to make those sounds later, at home, in our bed when we let the dust of our argument settle. When we let this make us stronger, instead of chip away at the beautiful thing we've created, built, nourished.

Again your hand finds its way to my knee. The tingling on the back of my neck has not gone away. Your hand moves its way higher up my thigh, not losing its grip but tightening. I don't have to say anything. We've both just promised each other that later, later will be magic. Our magic.

I lift my hands and turn the keys in the ignition. I still haven't looked at you again but the hair on the back of my neck is still on end. If I look now, we'll never leave. We'll be later still. We'll never get away with it. I shift the car into drive.

You lean over and place a soft kiss on my cheek, and then another one just before my ear. We both melt. You haven't moved an inch. I hear you take a breath and I take a matching one waiting for you to tell us where we need to go.


	4. Argument

It's raining outside. It has been for a few days. The rain matches my miserable mood. I miss you more than I ever thought was possible. I knew I'd miss you a lot, but this…this is killing me. You're on tour for a month with the company. A MONTH. And I don't know what to do with myself. We haven't gone longer than a week without seeing each other since we started dating and I feel like I'm going crazy.

It doesn't help that we were arguing a bit before you left. Nothing major, really. Just little tiffs brought on by nerves. We were both anxious about this time apart and how it would affect us. I'm not sure why we let it get to us. Our spats were never long and we always laughed about them later. I think we were just scared and caught up in it. I could see how tense your shoulders were, and how nervous you were- your face not lighting up the way that it usually did, your lips in a perpetual straight line- you were always so distracted. And I, I will admit, sometimes was pushing buttons on purpose to get your attention. I'm not usually like that, I've never been like that before. I guess you're just different, babe. The things I feel for you scare me sometimes and I don't always know how to react.

We've only been dating for four months, and you being gone for a whole month now feels like an eternity. We're still in the honeymoon stage of our relationship- a stage that I hope we never fully leave and intend on working my hardest to keep. I will admit that I'm glad we had our little nervous argument stage, because now that you've been gone, I feel like I was able to figure out why it happened and either avoid it in the future, or not get so worked up about the same triggers, knowing why they're there.

I'm supposed to be writing. I'm supposed to be working on new songs, but all I can think about is you. Usually that sparks me into a frenzy of words and poems, sweetness written down only for you. Not today. Today I can only stare out into the rain and wish you were here with me, wrapping your arms around me and kissing my neck. You're not here to be my cuddle buddy. Sleep has been hard, your pillow in my bed will never be you. Your left behind shirts will never be you. Everything holds the promise of you, but the reality is so much better. So much better than I would have ever imagined for myself, or dreamed up, or hoped for. I don't know where you came from or why I was ever looking for anyone other than you, but baby, I'm glad I found you.

When the rain lets up I'm going to head over to your apartment. You asked me to get the mail every few days and water the plants you have. You don't live alone, like I do. You have a roommate, but she's also in the company and you're both gone. I'll be your errand girl. I'll do anything you ask me and you've already figured that out. I'm pretty sure you figured it out after our first date, but you don't take advantage of it.

I love going over there and I hate going over there. I love it and hate it for the same reason: because when I walk in the door, you are all I can smell. And you're not there. Every corner teases me with the possibility that you'll be walking around it smiling your special smile, but you won't be.

We also had a major argument in your living room the last time we were both there. I don't want to call it a fight, but it was big. And I'm sorry. I think back on it and cringe. Pillows were thrown, backs were turned, there was a lot of walking away, exasperated hands in the air, you finally walked into your bedroom and slammed the door. And I walked out of the front door, and slammed it harder. I remember walking home that night in a haze of anger and nerves, and regret. I shouldn't say I walked, it was more of a storm. By the time I walked up my steps and put the key in the lock to open the door I was on the verge of tears. What if this month apart cooled whatever we had going? What if on this month of traveling you met someone else, someone better? What if you figured out that I wasn't worth the work? That my grumpiness and different moods were too much and you wanted someone easier? I was sobbing by the time I walked into my apartment. I threw my purse down on the ground and fell face first into my couch.

A few minutes later my door buzzed. Hoping it was you and not someone who just wanted access to the second floor, I jumped up. When I grunted out my greeting, I heard your voice, quiet and small answer me back. I pushed the buzzer quicker than I ever had in my life and threw my front door open. You ran down the hall and bounded into my arms and kissed me like you never wanted to stop. When you finally pulled away, you kissed all over my face, before going back to my lips and pushing me towards my bedroom, slamming the front door shut with your leg.

It felt like we were on fire that night. No words were needed, just heavy breathing, moaning, panting, gasping, ecstasy. If I didn't already know that I loved you, that night in my bed would have sealed the deal.

I smile as I remember how your hair fell around your face framing us while you were still on top of me, kissing me slowly, sleepily. Those are some of my favorite kisses. The ones where we're so tired from loving each other, but don't want to stop yet. We were in a cocoon of each other, we didn't need anything else. Your body against mine, on top of mine, melding with mine, was heaven.

You pulled away, and I followed you, stealing one more kiss from your lips. You opened your eyes and they were a clear, clear, blue. You mumbled a soft '_hi'_, and I smiled and mumbled one back. They were the first real words we had said to each other in hours.

You looked bashful for a minute before you met my eyes with yours and told me you were sorry. I smiled and kissed you and said it was ok, and I was sorry, too. You admitted that your nerves weren't just about leaving, but you were worried about your abilities. You wanted to be the best you could be for the company. When you finally told me that, everything seemed to click into place. I grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you down for another kiss. Short, sweet, perfect. Your eyes were a brilliant blue when I admitted that my nerves were because I had never felt like this with anyone else. You kissed me again with more passion than before and I felt something inside me shift. When we broke apart you let your weight fall back on me and nuzzled your face into my neck kissing me, breathing me in. I stroked your hair and your back, keeping you rooted in that spot. I could feel how relaxed you were, all the tension and anxiety gone.

I had just started to drift off when I felt, more than heard, you mumble into my neck that you were really going to miss me. I squeezed you hard and felt a lump in my throat form. I waited a few seconds before responding that I was really going to miss you, and didn't know what I was going to do with myself while you were gone.

And now you're gone and I have to go stand in the middle of your apartment like I'm just waiting for you to come home. In a way, I am just waiting for you to come home. It's been two weeks, we're halfway through this. You call me every night after your show and we talk, but never for very long. We text each other during the day, you've mailed me a few postcards and signed them 'you secret admirer'. When I got that first postcard from Ohio, I thought my face was going to crack open I was smiling so hard. Babe, I need to tell you I love you, come back home. I started sending you picture texts of funny things I see around the city, things I know you'll giggle at.

I know, in the long run, these four weeks will feel like nothing. I know that when we've been together for five years, ten years, twenty years, these four weeks will feel like barely a blip. But, we're still so new, and fresh, that these four weeks feel like eternity.

But, I know I love you. I haven't told you yet. I see the spark in your eyes, the way they crinkle in happiness whenever you look at me. You haven't said it yet, either. But we both say it without saying it. I knew I loved you after our epic third date. And then I really knew I loved you after that argument.

You told me on the phone last night after I told you I missed you for the thousandth time that you think these four weeks are making us stronger. They are testing our feelings and solidifying them, making us who we are as a couple. I could feel myself falling even harder for you in that moment and almost blurted out 'I love you' right then and there. But I held my tongue. I want to see your face light up when I tell you. And then I want to show you. After we hung up from each other, I sat in bed for a while and thought about what you said. This month is testing us for sure, but it is strengthening us. I know just how much I feel for you, care for you and love you. You're not here with your legs and your smile and your perfect body to distract me from really figuring out how I feel. I know that I only want to be with you.

My phone chirping with a text on the coffee table jolts me out of my thoughts. I sit staring out the window for a while longer, still not working, and decide instead to head over to your place. You have a bigger tv than I do and a cozier couch. I need a change of scenery. I grab my umbrella and my phone and throw on the hoodie you left with me, the one that smells so much like you I almost don't want to wear it, and make the short trek.

When I open the door everything about you hits me like a ton of bricks. It always does. I stand there for a moment letting it wash over me, and then I walk in. I water the plants and make some coffee before settling down in your spot on the couch pulling your favorite blanket over my legs. I find a movie I haven't seen yet on TV and feel myself start to relax. The movie gives me with some poetic inspiration, so I grab my notebook out of my bag and begin writing. I lose track of time in my words and don't realize how late it is until my stomach grumbles in protest. I order take out from your favorite place and go back to writing.

After I eat and clean up, I decide I don't want to leave. I felt more comfortable here today than I do in my own apartment. I was surrounded by you even though you weren't here, and I needed to feel you. I cuddle up again on the couch and find another movie to watch. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I see is scrolling credits. I get up and get ready for bed, brushing my teeth with the pink toothbrush you bought for me, and waltzing to your room, pulling on an old t-shirt of yours before sliding into bed.

And then I am enveloped in you.

I bury my nose in your pillow and your sheets and breathe you in. I know that I'll sleep better tonight than I have since you left, but your pillows and sheets still aren't you. Babe, I miss you so much.

I flick on the TV you keep in your room to repeats of a show I've seen a million times and pull a magazine off your desk. The sounds of your ringtone coming from the nightstand bring a huge smile to my face. I greet you with a purr and hear you smile through the phone. I ask how your performance went that night and you tell me in detail. You go on to tell me how boring the city you're in is, and how they didn't have too many food options. Then you ask me how my day went and I tell you it was raining and miserable and matched my mood. I hear you pout, and imagine your face. You apologize for leaving for the millionth time and I tell you to stop for the millionth time. This is your career and I love it and you. I would never hold you back from your dreams.

We found out you'd be leaving on tour three weeks ago, when we had finally started settling into a comfortable routine with each other. You were excited but sad that you'd be leaving me. I was ecstatic for you and told you we'd be ok. And we have been.

I burrow further into the covers and you ask me if I'm already in bed. "I am, but not where you think."

There are some nerves in your voice when you ask what that meant, before I chuckle and tell you "I'm in your bed." in a low, sultry, voice. The frustrated sigh I get back in return makes my day.

We both sit in silence with each other before you ask, "Why are you sleeping at my place?"

My truthful answer "It's hard to sleep without you" is hard for me to say and harder for you to hear. I fix it by adding "It's easier to sleep here, enveloped in everything you, except you." I can tell you're smiling again, and hear you yawn. I decide to let you get some sleep, telling you how much I miss your smiles. You gently remind me we could easily facetime- and we have a few times- but something about the phone is more romantic. I like picturing what you look like as you say sweet things to me. I like sending you pictures throughout the day. I love the postcards you send me. It makes our distance more epic, more romantic. It makes me appreciate every little thing we give each other even more.

You start getting the mumbles, the way you do when you're half asleep and I smile a huge, dimply smile, before letting you go. 'Sweet dreams, baby."

You hum, "Night, sweetheart."

When I hang up the phone I still have a smile on my face. I sink further down into your sheets and turn off the lights. The TV still hums in the background, but all I can think about is you, you, you.

You are everything.

You are my love.

And I'm going to tell you soon.


	5. Subway

I chuckle and you squeeze my hand, your engagement ring sparkling on your finger, looking at me with nothing but love in your eyes. We're being asked for the millionth time how we met. You usually get annoyed with repetition, but not with this story. This story, you'd tell a million times and then a million times again, with a smile in your eyes every time you tell it.

It's actually a great story. A wonderful story. One of those New York City stories that nobody believes. It involves a party in Brooklyn, a subway detour, rain, and a little bit of fate.

You turn to me and smile, you want me to tell it. You love it when I tell it because then you can chime in and comment when you think I'm leaving something out. But, we both know I never leave anything out. You just like the color commentary. People always think we made it up, and that it can't have happened the way it did. That we really concocted it to cover up the fact that we met online, or had a blind date situation. It's ok though, I never try to convince them otherwise. The people who matter, the people closest to us, they know what really happened.

I can see more eyes turn to look at me as I begin the story. Its ok, I love this story.

I start the same way every time: I was running late for a housewarming party in Brooklyn. My rehearsals ran long and then I had no idea what to wear. Story of my life.

I go on to give them the shorter version the quick, cute, "party version", smiling as they look at the two of us dreamily, not believing the luck we had. You squeeze my hand and kiss my shoulder and smile into me. I pat your leg and stand up to leave you to embellish where you will, thinking about our story all the way to the bathroom. When I get there I check my makeup and give myself some time to breathe, to think about us, to think about how lucky I was when I was running late that day. The non-edited story, the full, long, twisting story is the stuff dreams are made of. Our story is epic, my love.

Because I was running late that day I picked up some flowers on the way home from rehearsal from the bodega around the corner, I hadn't had any time to pick up anything more formal. Plus, who doesn't love flowers? After one of the fastest showers of my life and the first clean outfit I could find, I was out the door. My luck that night began the moment I stepped on the subway platform because the train had just pulled up. I slipped through the doors and grabbed a rail, sticking my iPod buds in my ear as we traveled along.

The train made it to Brooklyn in relative quickness, considering. But, of course, there was a service delay and detour for the next leg of my journey. Of course. Reading the bulletins posted all over the station, I had sort of figured out what I needed to do. Thankfully, there was a MTA worker explaining it to some tourists close by. _(When you tell this story, you say that I hadn't really figured it out, I just listened closely to the guy.)_ I did though. I like the subway. I used to like taking the subway and seeing where it led me and if I could make it back in one piece when I first got here. You and I both know I'm the queen of the subway.

So, I started patiently waiting for the next train that would take me two stops over, where I'd have to get out, cross over to the other side, catch another train that would take me another three stops, get out, find a shuttle that would drive over to the original line I was supposed to take and take me the last two. It was pretty ridiculous. I started playing with my iPod while I was waiting, needing something to calm my nerves because I was already annoyed at myself for running late. But, at that moment the battery died. Because of course it did. I turned my head to stick my iPod back in my bag, muttering under my breath.

And, that's when I saw you.

You didn't see me at first. You were down the platform a bit, in earshot but not close enough to talk to comfortably. You were staring at your shoes with a frown on your face, probably trying to figure out if they were the right shoes for the night. There was a bottle of wine in your hand, and you were fidgety. I watched you for a few moments, unable to look away. You kept looking towards the tunnels to see if there was a train coming, or back at your shoes, or you'd run your hand through your gorgeous hair. I was lost right then, in that moment.

I was broken out of my trance when someone came up to tap me on the shoulder to ask for clarification on the directions for the delay. I spit out what I had heard the MTA employee say to the group of tourists as quickly as possible. After a quick thank you, the woman walked away and I could feel the back of my neck tingling. I turned my head and you were there, looking at me. You looked surprised, like a deer in the headlights, like you'd been caught, so I gave you a small smile, trying to contain the fireworks in my chest when your eyes met mine.

You didn't say anything, just sort of stood there taking everything in. I took a moment to flash my eyes down your body, admiring what I saw, before breaking the silence and telling you that I had overheard the MTA guy tell a group of tourists the same thing so it should be right. You smiled and you hoped so, too, before turning around and facing the tracks again. I admired that view too, before sidling a little bit closer to you on the platform. _(You like to tell everyone that I was majorly checking you out and making eyes at you.)_ Everyone always laughs, but I was just admiring what I saw. I love the human body, the form, the lines and curves, I look at everyone. I find it fascinating.

You turned around again, quickly, and I was still looking in your direction. Now it was my turn to be embarrassed, so I ducked my head. You gave me a gentle smile and complimented the flowers in my hands, telling me they were pretty. I looked down at them before looking back up to you and replying that they were for a friend. You told me my friend was lucky, and that's when the train pulled up. We both entered through the same door, you chose a seat right next to the door and I grabbed the railing in the middle of the car. We started moving, and you didn't say anything else to me, but I knew your eyes were on me. I knew where you were, like my body was tuned into your movements. We made eye contact a couple of times, with bashful smiles, but nothing else. Generally, talking to people on the subway doesn't go over so well for me.

As we hurtled through the darkness I hoped that you were going as far as I was on this detour. I wanted to see you again, but I didn't know how to ask you for your number in a non-creepy, subway stalker kind of way. So, instead I stood there mentally banging my head against the metal pole in my hands. When we made it to the first change over, the train was already on the other side of the platform. Like good New Yorkers we ran up and over, hoping that we'd make it before the doors slid closed. I was faster, and hopped through the doors just as they began closing, sticking my arm out gallantly so they'd pop back open. You hopped in and gave me a breathless thank you, before standing next to me at the pole. You smiled at me and commented that you were wearing the wrong shoes for this type of excitement. I looked down and had to agree, but told you how much I liked them and how cute they were anyway. _(You always say that I opened the door, literally and figuratively because we didn't stop talking after that.)_ We chatted about the subway, how we both hate coming into Brooklyn, how at least in Manhattan you can hoof it or take a cab or the bus.

Our conversation carried us all the way through the three stops on the subway, and up out onto the street where the shuttle would take us over to the other line. We ended up towards the back of the crowded line and decided to split a cab, because we were both going in the same direction. _(When you tell it, you explain with a smile that at this point we still both have no idea that we're going to the same party.)_ You hail a cab in record time, seriously a blink of an eye, and I am crazy impressed. It's only when we both get in and tell the cab driver the same address do we freak out for a second and laugh. Our conversation relaxes into one much more friendly than the polite back and forth we had established on the subway. The cab ride turns into talk of how we both know the hosts of the party. You looked at me laughing at my story and that was the first time I saw that spark in your eyes. And I know in that moment, that I'm lost. Again.

You fight me to pay the cab fare, and I only let you because you're quicker handing him cash, while I rummage around trying to find my credit card. Embarrassed, I thank you and you tell me it was no problem and give me that smile again. We walk up to the door and ring the bell, waiting for a minute patiently for someone to buzz us in. I let you walk up the stairs first, admiring the view again and we knock on the door simultaneously.

The party is already in full swing and the hostess, my friend Jen, looks shocked to see us both on the other side of the door, together. I give her a hug and kiss her cheek handing her the flowers, while you wait behind me. You greet her more calmly; you've only met a few times, because you know her husband, Ryan, better. Jen hugs you and you give her the bottle of wine you brought. She loves it and you smile. Then you excuse yourself to find Ryan. Jen looks at me and asks how we ended up outside the door together, and I tell her it's a long story. She lets me know she had been dying to introduce us because she thought we'd hit it off, but Ryan wasn't so sure you were my type. I laugh at that, because everyone is my type. Ryan comes behind me and gives me a big hug, kissing my cheek, telling me he saw me walk in with you. Jen glares at him, but I tell him that we met on the subway. He laughs, too, and pulls me over to the bar to make me a drink. I notice you by the food table, you don't see me because you're concentrating on the food, but I smile anyway. Ryan notices and asks me about it and I coyly shrug him off. He hands me my drink and before I can make my way over to you I'm pulled into a group conversation with some friends from college.

I kept spotting you throughout the night. Every time my eyes found you, you were either laughing or enthralling a crowd with a story and talking with your hands. When we walked into Ryan and Jen's place, it's like you flipped a switch and became this fierce, fabulous, flirty party machine and I loved it. But, I also loved the version of you I had shared that cab ride with, the quiet, shy, inquisitive one.

I don't know if you knew that I was staring, but at one point during a particularly rowdy story you were telling, you flipped your hair over your shoulder and caught my eye. I thought I saw the ghost of a wink before you turned back around. Yes, you had to know I was looking at you. _(When you tell our tale, you teasingly explain to everyone that I was gawking at you all night and you felt like you had to throw me a bone.)_ But, really, we both know that we were trying to show off for one another.

Our paths didn't cross too many times at the party, we both knew different people there. But, I always knew where you were. It was as if my body already knew how important you were to me and my mind had to catch up. From the tingling I felt on the back of my neck every so often, I could tell that you knew exactly where I was, too.

It was early in the morning when the party started to wind down. I moved to the kitchen to help Jen clear some plates and put food and drinks away. I had just put a plate of food down and turned around to head back out to grab more, when I saw you and Ryan locked in a discussion. You looked bashful and shy and I thought it was adorable, even though I had only known of your existence for a few hours. I moved over to the table and picked up another few dishes when I heard you clear your throat and walk away from Ryan. I could feel your body buzzing beside me as you grabbed the empty bottles of wine to take into the kitchen. You didn't say anything and I didn't need you to.

After a few more minutes, Jen kicked us out and told us to head back into the city, throwing our jackets at us. I laughed and hugged her and Ryan both, while you tried to fight it. In the end we made our way back down the stairs of their apartment and back out onto the street. In silent agreement we headed towards the subway station to start our long way back to the city. I've never been afraid of the subway late at night, for better or worse, but I know some people are. You seemed anxious, so I started to make small talk about the party- even asking you to repeat one of your stories that I had only heard the beginning of. You turned to me with a small smile on your face, but a giant smile in your eyes and started the story over again. I wanted to grab your hand, right there. I wanted to grab your hand and feel you in my bones, my blood, my soul, but I didn't. We weren't there yet.

We walked on for a few more minutes, nearing the station when it started to rain, because of course it did. You shrieked a little and I just laughed. It was only rain, we would only get wet. You said it was just because it took you by surprise. In a stroke of fate, an empty cab turned the corner right then _(You are always so excited when you tell people that you have never seen a cab materialize so quickly ever in your history of living in this city)_ and you threw your arm out in an instant. He stopped and didn't put up too much of a fight when we told him we needed to go to Manhattan and that we'd give him a really good tip. You told him to head to the lower east side, and I smiled before you asked me where I lived. When I replied that I also lived in the lower east side, you laughed.

This time our cab ride was filled with friendly observations about the party, comments about Ryan and Jen as a couple (we felt the same way about them) and small flirty glances and comments. I felt like we made it back to Manhattan in record time, and you gave the cab driver your address. It was only a few blocks from mine, so I decided I would get out with you and make my move. I reached into my purse and my number on a piece of paper while you chatted with the cab driver for a minute about cross streets and what not. We pulled up to your place and this time I reached over and swiped my card before you even had a chance to see what I was doing. You looked surprised that I was prepared to get out of the cab but I told you I only lived a few blocks away and I liked to walk. You sat in the cab with me while we waited for the transaction to go through, looking at me the whole time.

Sometime during our cab ride, it stopped raining. I popped out first and held my hand out for you to grab as you pulled yourself out of the cab. Your eyes met mine and I could feel the spark ignite. You straightened your jacket and purse and headed over to the gate in front of your place. You turned around and I felt like you were going to ask me something but before you could say anything, I leaned in and kissed your cheek. It was just long enough not to be considered a peck, and I hovered near your face for another second longer to let you wash over me.

At the same time, I grabbed your hand and placed the crumpled up piece of paper with my number on it inside. Closing it tight, before pulling away and looking you in the eyes, which were wide with surprise, and saying a heartfelt goodnight. Your name followed breathlessly off my lips.

You repeated the goodnight and I turned to walk away, looking back at you over my shoulder. I caught your eyes and knew you were staring, it's ok though. I know I'm hot. I stopped and waited for you to unlock your front door before continuing on down the street to my apartment. I had barely gotten a block away when I felt my phone buzz in my coat pocket. Grinning like a fool I pulled it out and the number flashing back above the text was one I didn't know. I swiped my phone open and read a short but sweet **Thank you for the cab ride. Dinner on Tuesday? I have to show you that spot I was talking about in my story.**

And the rest, as they say, is history.

My quiet reverie in the bathroom is broken by a small knock on the door, followed by your voice, soft and sweet. "Baby."

I unlock the door and wait for you to open it. You slide inside with a smile and lock it again behind you. You turn to me and your lips meet mine in a searing kiss before I realize what's happening. It's over just as quickly and your lips pull away from mine before I can take them again.

"That story just always does something to me. I was sitting there thinking about how lucky we are and I just had to kiss you."

I smile, "Me too, love. Me too."

* * *

A/N: Hi All! Thank you for reading. I'm aiming to post every Thursday, so you all have something to look forward to! Leave a review, spread the word, keep coming back if you feel so inclined.


	6. Kitten

One of the girls you dance with, Jade, just moved into a new apartment with her fiancé sort of in our neighborhood. Since you helped her move in, they invited us over for dinner and to see the new place all set up. I like Jade, she's really smart and really funny and really beautiful. Not as beautiful as you, babe. What I really like about Jade is that you two bonded while you were out on tour. She was your roommate for most of the month, and you two were able to commiserate over missing your significant others. You two kept each other company, sane and in the long-run game.

You come back to my place from work with a bottle of wine and hop in the shower to get ready. I offer to help, but you smirk while saying it'll take longer that way. You're right, it totally will. We don't have to dress up for them, so you come out into the living room with your hair wet and wrapped up in a bun, v-neck t on and jeans that make you look like you're not from this planet. Suddenly, I don't want to leave.

You see the look in my eyes and pat my ass with a "Nu uh, Baby" and walk out the door, with a little extra sway, waiting for me to follow you into the hall. I don't think I look up the entire time I do. We make the short walk over to Jade's and are welcomed into a warm apartment that smells divine. We've only been dating for a short while, so I'm still not used to all your friends, but Jade is kind and inviting and you love her, so I'll love her.

Turns out, Jade and Mike just got a new kitten and I know I'm in trouble. You love animals of all kinds and you're on the floor playing with the kitten before we even settle in. Jade just laughs, and I giggle as I sit down. You look up at me with big blue eyes and I know the discussion of pets will come up sooner rather than later. I'm more of a dog person though, so I hope when it happens, we can agree.

You had a cat growing up and talk about him constantly. He passed on a few years ago, and I can tell you're still upset about it. You have such a big, open heart. You love all of your friends' pets, you love pets in your building, you love pets you see on the street or sidewalk cafes. You are just too much sometimes and it's too adorable.

We start chatting about the neighborhood, and Mike asks me for restaurant recommendations. That really gets me going, and I tell him about my favorite hole in the wall Italian restaurant that's around the corner from here. They only take cash, and they make the most delicious food. "The chef is this little old Italian man who is in his 80s and he still cooks every day. Sometimes he'll even come out of the kitchen and ask random tables how everything is." I glance over to you as I'm talking, my hands waving around, and your face is glowing. The smile you give me sends me chills. I'm talking about the place I took you on our first date.

You chime in with a couple comments and recommendations, still on the floor with the kitten. I can feel myself relaxing around Jade and Mike, glancing at you as you entertain yourself with the furball. Mike is in the middle of a good joke when I see you stand up out of the corner of my eye. You walk over to the loveseat and sit down next to me, kissing me on the cheek and pulling my hand onto your thigh. I can tell he's getting to the punchline when I see something move on your shirt. I pull my attention away from Mike and stare at your chest. You have the kitten tucked into the breast pocket of your t-shirt, his head bobbing back and forth as he fights the sleep that is so desperately taking hold.

I just about die right there.

I can feel my heart jumping through my body with overwhelming adoration for you. It is so completely cute that I can't stand it. I squeeze your thigh and you look at me, a smirk on your face.

You know exactly what you're doing to me.

The best part about it, though, is that you're not even trying to do it. You're just being you. Your amazing, beautiful, wonderful you and I can't even handle how much I love it.

Jade notices the kitten, and lets out an aww, picking up her phone to snap a photo. She texts it to you and gives me a knowing smile. We all get quiet for a second and I can hear the little furball start purring. You giggle, it must tickle, and he flinches but doesn't wake up. His little butt is curled in the bottom of your pocket, pulling your shirt down with his added weight, but no one wants to move him. We resume our conversation and after a few minutes he wakes up and yawns, but doesn't make a move to get out of your pocket, instead purring contentedly. You scratch under his chin and his purrs get louder.

When it's about time to eat dinner, you reluctantly pull him from your pocket and set him in the corner of the couch. He lets out the tiniest mews and I can see you struggle to leave him there. I grab your hand and lead you over to the table, kissing it as we walk.

Dinner is delicious and wonderful, your friends are fantastic. We eat dessert in the living room and the kitten curls up on your lap, immediately drawn to you. I know the feeling. All animals seem to love you as much as you love them. It's as if they can see your soul and your heart, like I can.

Jade and Mike are an absolutely fabulous couple and I know they'll be a go to when we want to do group activities. They're warm and engaging and they complement each other so well, kind of like we do. It warms my heart knowing that I fit in with your friends and that I like them. I think I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for Jade, though.

After dessert and some more wine, and some great stories from the two of them about how they met and one disastrous vacation they took together, we all seem to notice how late it is at the same time. I see you stifle a yawn out of the corner of my eye and know that you're exhausted. You never really let anyone know when you're tired though, always so mindful of everyone's feelings and never wanting to cut the fun short. But, it's late and we all know it.

We stand up and say our goodbyes. I see you squeezing the little kitten tight and dropping a kiss on his tiny little head and feel my smile radiate through my body. Jade catches me looking at you and teases me, but I don't really even have a good comeback for her because I'm just so lost in you. She shoots me a wink as she closes the door behind us, she knows as well as I do that I'm a goner. I'm just glad she approves.

You grab my hand when we reach the street and bump my shoulder with yours, yawning again. I kiss the back of your hand and you shoot me that smile I love. That smile that you only give to me.

And I swoon. Again.


	7. Song

You're still curled up when I leave the bed. You got in late; your recording sessions have no time limits. You look so peaceful, curled on your side, your face so, so relaxed, your breathing deep. I want to stay in bed with you, curl into you, hold you, but I have to get ready for rehearsals.

It's our first day starting a new piece and it's always exciting. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach, the buzzing in my limbs, I'm raring to go. You'll be at the studio all day again, so I don't feel too bad that my hours might be long for this first week. You sigh in your sleep and roll over, clutching at my pillow, snuggling into it and it almost kills me. I almost crawl back into bed, back into you.

I turn around instead, shutting the door behind me, and head to the living room to do some stretches before I change my mind and quit my job and fold myself into your arms.

I put on the coffee- only making enough for myself. You're on a strict tea and hot water with lemon kind of kick right now, it's all about your vocal chords. Your beautiful, beautiful vocal chords. I'm so excited for the world to hear what they can do, baby. I've been hearing it for so long, I don't know how you've kept it such a secret. But, it's about to blow up like a balloon on a hot day and I can't wait to stand by your side and watch it happen.

I stretch for a few minutes while my coffee brews before fixing myself some yogurt and granola. You're lucky to have a porch out in the back of your apartment building, something that I searched this city for high and low. It looks like a nice morning, so I bring my breakfast outside. I love everything about this city, even the days I hate it. You always smile at me when I say things like that- you give me that look that says no one else could ever possibly be as brilliant as I am. And, when you look at me like that, I believe it.

My mind starts drifting to your sessions. You've brought home a couple of rough mixes of a few songs that you've laid down, but I haven't heard any finished products yet. I've seen you furiously scribbling in your songbook like you're afraid if you don't get the words out the second they pop into your head, you won't get them out at all. It's beautiful. You've been humming melodies around the apartment, not even realizing that you're doing it. Everything about this process, even the weird hours and your limited talking, I love. You're a genius and seeing you work, seeing the process is amazing beyond words and so, so sexy.

It's a strange feeling too, though. Strange in a good way, because I know all these songs are about me somehow. You whispered in my ear one night that you didn't know what motivation was, what a muse was, what art was, until you met me. It sent tingles down my spine and took the words from my mouth. Your eyes sparked with something in that moment, a fire so bright and so strong that I was overwhelmed. We both were overwhelmed.

One of the songs you brought home the other night was a ballad with so much of me, of your heart, of us, in it that I started crying. You looked worried, you're always worried to share your songs with me, and I had to hold on to you tightly before I could speak. Before I could assure you that they were good tears, happy tears, tears full of love. That your words were haunting, gorgeous, entrancing.

You're the most beautiful person I have ever met. Inside and out. You're always so cute and shy about showing me your love, showing me how much you care, showing me your heart. And you always act so surprised when I accept it, and open mine up to show you as well. It's like you can't believe I'm yours.

But, babe, I can't believe that you are mine.

And even though you act all shy about it, you'll always be open, honest, tender with me. I can see it in your eyes, in your actions, in your body.

The look you give me, that makes what you feel for me so palpable in the air, springs to my mind. It brings a smile to my face and tingles down my back.

I finish breakfast and decide to write you a little love note for you to find upon waking. I love doing little things for you. I remember the look on your face the first time I bought you flowers, it still makes my knees go weak.

I rinse my dish and place it in the dishwasher before pulling a piece of scrap paper off the grocery notepad. I scribble a cute poem on it, and a little picture of a cat purring at the bottom, before promising to see you later and signing off with a simple heart.

I tiptoe back into our room, you're still snoozing. Your breaths deep, rhythmic, satisfying, and I place the folded note over your phone, your initial on top. I brush my teeth and change quickly into my dance clothes. Before I leave the room, I brush my lips lightly over your cheek, whispering my love in your ear, hoping you'll hear it in your dreams. You sigh again in your sleep and my heart melts. Literally melts to the floor.

Reluctantly peeling myself away I head to the front door and grab my dance bag.

Today I dance better than I have every other day, because today I dance for you and my love for you. And my love for you grows every day. My dances will never be the same because my love for you will never be the same. It is ever changing, ever growing, ever evolving into something I could never imagine.

When you come back early that night, I'm sprawled out on your couch watching trashy reality tv that I don't have to focus on and eating popcorn. Your smile is huge, blinding, mine. You pull out a zip drive and squeal with excitement. You have your first finished song, it's all ready to go. I jump off the couch and pull you into a bear hug, only pulling away to kiss you like you want to be kissed.

You sigh into my mouth and pull away, too excited for me to hear your song.

I pull open the laptop and plop on the couch. You sit next to me and stick the zip drive in, opening the audio file when prompted.

The instrumentals that fill my ears are beautiful, it's a cute little mid-tempo ditty. You look at me, your face glowing, and I can feel your excitement and anxiety rolling off of you. When I hear your voice, I'm startled. I look from the computer to you and back again in disbelief. Your voice, your words, your song is my poem. My stupid little scribbled out poem. The one from this morning. The one that I wrote in two seconds. The one that I couldn't wait to leave by your sleeping body.

I feel the tears come before I can stop them and I hear my body exhale in disbelief. Your eyes are still sparkling, but now they are shining with unshed tears, too.

Before I know it your lips are on mine, your hands are tangled in my hair, your breath is against my skin. You say that it was the fastest song you ever wrote, you read my poem and everything came together in your head, the rest of the lyrics, the melody, the instrumentals, the tempo, everything clicked.

It's ready to go. It's finished. It's mixed.

It's us.

Yes, my love for you is ever changing. It's bigger now in this moment than it has ever been before.


	8. Wedding Pt 1

Jade and Mike's wedding day has finally arrived. After months of planning, preparation and anxiety, it's here. You're her maid of honor, you squealed with delight when she asked you and hopped around before pulling her into a bear hug. You two became so close on tour, I'm not really sure if you were surprised or just excited. So, now we're here. Well, I'm here and you're tucked away in the back getting ready. I'm impatient to see you. I hate going to weddings alone, and even though you're here and you're my girlfriend, I feel like I'm alone.

I know a few of the other attendees from your dance company cocktail parties, performances and other social gatherings, but I don't know them that well. To be honest, this wedding is huge and I'm just uncomfortable. I feel as though most of the people here, family and close friends of both parties, are looking at me as if I don't belong.

I don't know why I'm this insecure, baby. You always make me feel welcome and cherished in your group of friends. I'm sitting next to Anna, another one of your friends who I've known for a while. I like her and we aren't struggling for conversation, I just feel antsy and I can't put my finger on it, I've never felt this way at a wedding before.

I also haven't seen you in two days, which might explain some of it. I said goodbye to you Wednesday night after the bachelorette party, you were whisked away in a stretch limo with the five other bridesmaids, to spend Thursday in the hotel suite with Jade, getting pampered with massages and facials and mani/pedis at the spa before the wedding today. It was her gift to you all for being in the wedding, and your last bonding time before she became a married woman. You called from the hotel before dinner that night and told me how relaxed you were and how much you enjoyed your spa treatment. I smiled, you totally deserved that day, babe. You work so hard and you put such a toll on your body to create your art. Knowing you had a nice, deep massage and some pampering made me warm inside.

But, then you had the rehearsal dinner and today you had all the wedding preparations. We texted briefly, but you were flitting around getting hair, makeup and pictures done. You played coy when I asked you how they did your hair, texting that I'd just have to wait and see, even though I begged for a photo. Not seeing your face for a couple of days has made me cranky in the weirdest way. Which is strange- we've spent time apart, and you toured, and we don't stay over every night. But, knowing that you were here and available but restricted from seeing me made it seem different.

The church is beautifully decorated, creating a lovely atmosphere. The flower arrangements lining the aisles and altar are stunning, and wafting a wonderful aroma through the air. There's a pianist playing soft, classical pieces, you know "wedding music" for us all. Anna is chattering beside me, telling me how the couple struggled over what songs to have featured. I don't really care, but I nod and smile. Planning a wedding must be difficult. Finally, Mike and his groomsmen file out onto the altar and the chattering quiets down. It's time.

The mothers of the bride and groom are walked down the aisle and seated, the flower girl and ring bearer take their time, overwhelmed but adorable. I'm on the aisle where I know you'll be able to see me. Mainly because Anna didn't want to be an unwitting extra in any pictures, and also because she had been saving a seat next to her in the middle of the bench for a friend who ended up sitting with her boyfriend a few rows behind us.

I can feel my body filling with anticipation now. I'm excited for the wedding, yes. They are your close friends and a couple we love to spend time with. I will be thrilled to see their vows and partake in this special moment. But, really, I'm excited to see your face, babe.

I almost feel as nervous as Mike up there waiting to see his bride in her dress, waiting to see her begin her long walk up the aisle to join him.

I smile to myself, the comparison making me giggle. There's no way this moment is as monumental as his.

One by one the other bridesmaids travel down the aisle in what seems to be the slowest gait ever known to man. Finally, it's your turn. I see your outline, lit from the sunlight streaming in the church behind you. Your blond hair pulled up around your face, your sage dress hugging your curves. With each step you come closer and closer to me. I know you haven't spotted me yet. Your eyes scanning the crowd. You're a quarter up the aisle when you do. Your blue eyes finding mine, the spark between us igniting. I hear myself gasp as my breath is taken away. You look stunning. So, so beautiful. Your eyes soften with recognition and a lazy smile spreads across your face, replacing the stiff, formal one that was there before. That one was for everyone else, the one for the crowd and the pictures.

No, this lazy smile, this smile is just for me.

You sway your hips a little bit more as you continue up the aisle, never taking your eyes off me. I want to look at your dress, and your long legs in those heels, but I can't take my eyes off your face.

When you pass me, you shoot me a wink. I can see the sparkle in your eyes and I finally feel like I can breathe again. You head up to the altar and my eyes follow you, using the opportunity to watch your strong calves. your defined shoulders, and your ass.

Finally the bridal march beings playing. And I snap my eyes away from you to look at Mike, wanting to see his reaction as he sees Jade. The look of pure love and joy on his face brings tears to my eyes, but I don't let them fall. Instead, blinking them away as I turn to look at her. She looks stunning, and so happy. My eyes follow her as she passes me on her way to meet Mike, and I can feel your gaze. When I meet your eyes again, they hold the same amount of joy and love as I saw in hers.

I am blown over by the way your look makes me feel. It's as if you are offering me every piece of your soul. I can feel all my big feelings for you rattling around inside of my being. You smile at me again, before you shift your attention to the bride, accepting her proffered bouquet.

You sneak looks and shy smiles to me throughout the ceremony, and though I feel calmer, I know I won't feel settled until I can kiss you and feel you in my arms again. You feel so close to me, yet still so far away.

The vows the couple exchange are beautiful and I feel myself tearing up again hearing them, and when I chance a look at you and watch as you wipe away a tear, I feel those big feelings inside of me clanging and raging within me. You stir something inside of me that no one else has ever done before.

After the kiss, you walk back down the aisle with the best man, and wink at me again as you pass, your smile huge on your overjoyed face. Anna leans over and says something in my ear about how cute we are, and I just laugh and shake my head in amusement.

We have to wait for the rows behind us to clear out a little bit before we can head outside. I know you still have to take formal pictures, but I'm hoping to catch you before you're whisked away again.

I have no such luck, walking outside of the church just in time to see your limo pull away. I can feel my heart fall with my hopes, and follow Anna to the shuttles that will take us to the cocktail hour before the reception.

I'm officially cranky and snappy again. That was my chance to see you, babe. Now we'll have drinks and hors d'oervs while you take photos, then we'll be ushered to our tables for dinner while you'll sit with the bridal party up front. My kiss will have to wait until after dinner.

On the shuttle I check my phone and find a text from you. My heart skips a beat when I read it, _You look so hot in that dress, babe. Can't wait to see it on the floor later…_ It's followed by a winking emoji.

I know I'm blushing when I look back up.

I don't know how you do it, but you always know how to make me feel wonderful inside.

Anna laughs at my face and asks when we're getting married. I feel my jaw drop open and my eyes go wide before she laughs again and tells me to calm down, she was joking. I respond, "Not funny." and punch her on the arm.

She says, "It's only a matter of time…"

I feel my stomach flip flop and I know she's right. It _is_ only a matter of time. We haven't been dating long, and we haven't officially talked about it, but I know. I know I want to marry you. I know I want to call you my wife. I know I want a life with you.

Cocktail hour passes surprisingly quickly. I'm surrounded by your company members, a few of whom came solo, and we laugh and get buzzed surprisingly fast. Our dinner table is near the back of the hall, apparently they were right to designate us as the loud and rowdy crowd. I can feel my cheeks starting to hurt from laughter. Your friends are all great, babe.

You walk in with the bridal party and I let out a loud woop as you're announced. You blush and chuckle when you find me in the crowd, and send me a little wave. We settle in for dinner, which is delicious, and pass quick looks back and forth to one another from our separate tables.

When its time for the speeches, you start to look nervous. You wouldn't let me see your speech, which I found odd, since you were so nervous about it. When you finally start speaking, your story begins with your tour, and I know why you didn't want me to see it beforehand. Because I'm featured. I'm surprised when I recognize the story and that you're talking about me, and I feel the world freezing around me as you look between me and Jade.

"As many of you may know, Jade and I dance for the same company. A little over a year ago, we embarked on a short tour with the company to feature some of our new pieces. I had known Jade pretty well before the tour, but it was during this time that I really bonded with her. See, our tour happened at a really inopportune time for both of us. Jade and Mike had just gotten engaged a few months before, and I had just met the most incredible woman. The miles of that tour that tore us apart from our relationships worked to bring the two of us together. I remember sitting in our hotel room one night after a particularly long day of travel and a grueling performance, hearing Jade start crying while she was talking to Mike on the phone in the bathroom. I could tell they weren't fighting, anyone who knows Jade and Mike knows that they don't fight often, because they're amazing together. But, the sound of the tears she was crying were so familiar to me. It was the sound of heartache. And I knew exactly how she felt. I hadn't yet told her that I had just gotten serious with someone, but the emotion behind her voice was so familiar to me. It was the feeling of missing someone so much you don't really know what to do with yourself. And you can't fix it, but you just want it to end.

Jade came out of the bathroom and I saw her trying to hide her tears, but before she could I stood up and pulled her into a huge hug and started crying too. We stayed like that for a while before pulling apart, and I remember we started laughing at how pathetic we were. She asked me why I was crying and I said it was because I recognized the longing in her voice, and that's exactly how I felt every time I thought about or called or texted my girl.

After that moment, we fell into a fit of laughter about how pathetic we were, how heartsick we were, how girly we were. It was in that moment that I knew I had found one of my soul mates. Jade and I became bonded for life.

Ok, so I know I talked a lot about me in this speech, but I had to set the scene. I had only met Mike a few times before our tour. Even though he and Jade had been dating for a while, they kept their relationship pretty private. But, after that night of giggles, she told me more and more about how she felt about Mike, how much she loved him, how great he made her feel. And, I saw the way her face lit up with love, and the look of pure happiness she got in her eyes when she said his name. And I knew, that no matter how many miles were between them, or whatever challenges they faced, that they were solid, that they were it.

When we got back home and I met Mike again, and saw the way that he looked at Jade, I felt my heart burst a little bit. These two crazies were made for each other. You can see it in the way they soften around one another, in the way they bring out the best in each other, in the way they take on everything together, as a couple. I know in my heart that Jade and Mike will make each other happy for the rest of their days.

So, let's all raise a glass, to love, to forever, to Jade and her Mike_."_

Babe, I wish I could describe the feeling that burst inside of me when you said 'my girl', or when you looked at me when you said the words 'forever,' 'heartsick,' or how you talked about taking on the world together.

It was as if every feeling I had ever felt for you magnified by a thousand. I just wanted to jump up there and kiss you, but I felt so rooted, so grounded to the spot as you caught my eye. You took my breath away. With your speech, with the look you gave me, with everything you are.

In that moment, I could see everything in front of us, and I know you could see it too.

* * *

A/N: Psyched you out! Don't worry, all will come in due time. Hope you're all liking the story so far. Comment/Review if you feel so inclined.


	9. Wedding Pt 2

After the speeches the music finally started and guests began making their way to the dance floor. Anna and I were caught up in a conversation when I felt your soft touch graze my shoulders as you took the empty seat next to me. You lean into me with a smile and place a warm, soft kiss on my lips, pulling away with a whispered "Hey, you."

I know I'm smiling my biggest smile at you as I lean back in to give you a wetter kiss, smacking my lips as I pull away, "Hey yourself."

You take my face in your hands and rake your eyes all over me, like you haven't seen me in years. I grab your wrists and rub my thumbs over them while I let you look. We are alone at the table now, and it feels like we are in our own world. Your eyes travel down to my lips, then back to my eyes again.

"You look beautiful." Your voice heavy with awe.

"So do you," I sigh.

You place three soft kisses against my lips and hum against me, "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

We stay like that for a few moments, until the song slows into one of our favorite ballads. You pull away and stand taking my hand in yours, leading me to the dance floor. It is crowded, but we find a small space near the middle, and face each other. You guide my hands around your neck, before placing your own on my hips, smoothing me into motion.

I can't take my eyes off of you, baby. Your eyes are sparkling in the lights under the dance floor, and shining so, so bright for me. Your makeup is a little bit different than usual, and it makes the blue of your eyes a crystal shade that pops out at me. Your hair is done up in an intricate side-braid wrap twist, and your lipstick making your mouth look so much more kissable. You slowly smile at me as I look at you up close. God, it feels like it's been forever. I let out a sigh of relief, I'm back in your arms. I scratch my nails lightly along the back of your hairline, and you swoon into me. My head lands on your shoulder and I breathe you in. It's hidden underneath the hairspray and the makeup, but it's you. It's unmistakably you.

When I get a whiff of your perfume, my knees go weak for a beat. I'm glad your arms are around me holding me tight, always.

The song fades into another fast song that's been popular on the radio, you squeeze my hips before pulling back to start grooving. Your eyes bright with excitement. I accept the challenge hidden in your look and match you as well as I can. I'm no dancer, but I've got rhythm in my blood.

We dance for a while until we need to take a break. The air between us is thick and I can feel the intensity building. Grazing your ear with my lips, I let you know that I'd like a drink. You nod and bite your lip and follow me off the dance floor. I grab your hand, not wanting you to get lost in the crowd which has gotten rowdier as the night has gone on.

Jade is standing at the bar when we finally make it over there. She pulls you into a huge hug and squeals with excitement about being married and how much she loved your speech. I order our drinks and grab a single out of my dress for the tip. I can see the bartender's eyes follow my hand as it sneaks out of my bra, and smirk. Before he can open his mouth to flirt, I place my arm over your shoulder and kiss your cheek, "Baby, I got your drink."

The way his jaw drops open, how they all drop open whenever we're out, will never not be amusing.

Jade, who seems kinda drunk, pulls me in for a huge hug as well, and thanks me for coming. She gets a special look in her eye when she talks about the first time you mentioned me to her, before pulling us both into a group hug. I can hear you giggling, and I laugh as well. Jade is pretty awesome, and I know she loves us both. She apologizes for stealing you away for the past few days, adding in a sly whisper that you mentioned me at every chance you got. My heart skips a beat when I hear that and I send you a shy smile.

We all chat for a few moments until Jade hears her favorite song and pulls you back to the dance floor. I finish my drink and grab two more to bring back to the table before finding you on the floor again. Everyone around us is drunk and having fun, and dancing the night away and it feels so good to be with you like this, celebrating life and love and happiness without a care in the world.

And, baby, dancing with you is like an out of body experience. I don't know how I survive.

After another while you lead me off the floor and whisper something about finding a dark corner somewhere in my ear. We make a pit stop first at the photo booth Mike insisted on, and find the line nonexistent. You pull me inside onto your lap and we decide to take one set with accessories- me in a feather boa and oversized sunglasses, you in a giant hat- and then one without. We end up kissing through a third set, only breaking apart when someone coughs outside the booth. I grab the photos and stick them in my clutch on the table, before trotting back to the dance floor.

As much as I couldn't wait for the night to end so I could get my hands on you and take advantage of the room I had booked us upstairs, I'm a little bit sad when the DJ announces the last song. There aren't many people left on the dance floor, but Jade and Mike are still going strong, as are most of your dance mates and their dates.

Before the song ends, we sneak away to the table and grab out purses and long forgotten shoes. Jade had bought cheap flip flops and placed them in boxes in the back of the room for all of us who needed a break from our heels. It was sweet and a brilliant idea. My body is buzzing with energy and the vestiges of my last drink as I hit the up button on the elevator. You take my free hand in yours, squeezing it as we wait. You sent your bag down from the bridal suite to the room I booked us earlier, so all of your stuff will be waiting. Finally the door dings open and we step on. We're alone in the elevator and your lips connect with mine before I have a chance to think. I moan into your mouth as you slide your tongue into mine and push me up against the wall. We kiss heatedly until the elevator opens at our floor. We both stumble out, gasping with laughter and lust, and you grab my hand and drag me down the hall.

We barely make it inside the room before you're attacking my neck and already sliding the zipper down my dress. I'm overloaded and overwhelmed by you in all the best ways. You slide my dress down my body, kissing your way back up my stomach and chest as you unhook my strapless bra. "Such a great dress, you looked so sexy tonight. I just wanted to fuck you all night, babe. I need to make you scream."

Your words are muffled against my skin but they set me on fire. I love it when you swear.

You're out of your dress in record time and before I know it I'm falling against the bed with you on top of me. We slide up to the pillows and you're kissing everywhere. You bring your mouth where I need you most and my body feels more alive than it has in days. You make good on your word and make me scream before I flip you over and thrust into you until I hear those moans that make me feel like the ruler of the universe.

It's rough, and animalistic and passionate. I don't know how long it is before we stop, because it's transcendent. It feels as if the whole entire world is here between us, even though it's just the two of us in this room. When you look deep into my eyes, sweeping the hair off my face as it falls around us in a shroud, I know something has shifted. Something is different.

We feel bigger, greater.

Your face spreads in a shy smile and you flip me over, kissing softly and slowly over my arms, my chest, my stomach, every inch of me you can. It goes on for seconds, or minutes or hours, I don't know, I'm lost in you, you, you.

You pause and look up at me, smiling with hooded eyes and I just can't take it anymore. "Come up here and give me kisses…" I pout.

You bite your lip in that way I love and oblige, sliding back up my body to kiss me slow and steady and sure. Your hand brushing along my side. It's not as heated as before but just as passionate. I hum a smile onto your lips and pull away for air. You roll onto your side and face me, our noses touching. We don't say anything else, we don't have to. We know. We can feel it. We can feel the love hanging in the air around us.

We both fall asleep exhausted and sated our limbs tangled up in each other.

And I can't wait until it's us.

Until you're my wife.

Married.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for the sweet comments, y'all. I thought I'd include some wank for you after teasing you last chapter. Hope you enjoy!


	10. Dinner

We've been dating for about a month and you're finally going to cook for me. You always talk about cooking, and your eyes light up when you do, but you seemed nervous about it. Like you wanted to be sure before you made that next step, like it_ was_ a next step. Maybe it was for you, maybe it was another rung in your dating ladder. Whatever it was, I was glad you finally asked me to come over. Your dark eyes lit up when I said yes and leaned in to kiss you softly, sealing the promise on your lips. I knew I would love whatever you made me, which was a surprise because you were tight lipped about your plans.

I pulled on a cute dress and some flats, adding an extra swipe of mascara to my lashes and a light shadow. I didn't over do it. I don't need to with you. Not that I don't need to look nice, and I definitely wanted to look nice, but I could tell that you were the kind of person who could see the beauty underneath. I had asked you if I could bring anything over, and you told me no three times before I finally got you to say yes to wine, a nice red. I had picked up a bottle on my way home from the studio. I grabbed that and my purse and threw on my jacket before hopping down the stairs. I stopped at the corner and bought you a beautiful mixed bouquet of flowers. They were bright and exotic like you and I can't wait to see the look on your face when I hand them to you. You always look so surprised when people do nice things for you, especially me. You never seem to believe that I want to do these cute things for you.

Babe, I want to do these things for you for as long as I can breathe.

I know a lot of girls who shun the idea of flowers, saying they're pointless because they die in a few days and why waste the money on something that will wilt away. But, I love flowers because it's the idea that counts, the gesture, the gift of giving itself. Flowers are a nice way of saying I was thinking about you, care about you, love you, without breaking the bank. So, I love giving people flowers. Dates, friends, my mom. Plus, you had already mentioned on one of our first few dates that no one really ever bought you flowers before. Your parents had, and your Abuelo before he passed, but no one special. That nearly broke my heart and I vowed right then and there to myself to always buy you flowers, just because.

Walking the short distance to your apartment was a character study. Our neighborhood is colorful and vibrant, teeming with life. I always wonder to myself how many times we may have passed each other without even realizing it. What it took for that fateful night on the subway platform to happen. Would we still have found each other living this close? New York City is a giant city filled with millions of people- we lived within blocks of each other and it took that cab ride to put us together.

Your neighbor smiled at me as he let me in your front door. I knocked and you looked surprised when you popped the door open, finding me in the hallway. I held the flowers behind my back and reached in to peck the surprise off your face before handing you the wine. It was a nice Cabernet that I enjoyed at a friend's house, and you commented that you loved this winery. I smiled at the coincidence. You stepped aside to usher me in and I kissed you on the cheek as I walked in, pulling the flowers from behind my back as you closed the door. I held them out and said they were for you when you turned around. Your eyes grew wide with surprise and awe before you smiled a big dimply smile at me, and leaned in to kiss me, once, twice, three times.

The way your eyes lit up and how your dimples stayed rooted in your cheeks told me that buying you flowers would never be a waste. You slipped my purse and jacket off with one hand, hanging them on the rack by the door, before grabbing my hand and pulling me into the kitchen. It smells divine.

You didn't have a vase, why would you if you never get flowers, and I apologized for not thinking. You give me a soft smile and a sweet kiss on the cheek telling me it's ok and there was no way to know you didn't have one. You pull a large glass out of the cupboard and fill it with water, snipping the ends like I advise before slipping them into the water.

I spot a kettle on the stove and can tell from the heat that the oven is on. There is already a bowl of salad on the counter, filled to the brim and the lettuce sprinkled with tomatoes, onions, beans, avocado, pretty much everything delicious. I smile and asked what you made me. You shoot me back a sly wink and told me it was an old recipe your Abuela taught you how to make. You lifted the lid off the kettle and I spotted red sauce. I must have looked surprised because you giggled and I blushed, sorry for assuming anything. You uncorked the wine and poured us two glasses as you started your story.

"When I was twelve years old and a bit of a firecracker in the emotional department, my Abuela sat me down in her kitchen and told me she wanted me to learn how to cook everything I could. I already knew what went into a lot of the dishes my family regularly made, and she wanted me to learn how to make other recipes. She handed me two eggplants and told me to peel them and slice them into thin pieces. It took me forever and when I was finished she told me that she was going to teach me an old recipe from her friend and neighbor- eggplant parm. The two of them used to trade recipes and teach each other how to make them. This was the first thing I learned how to make on my own. I've kind of perfected it."

You shrug as you finish your story, your smile small and shy. You are so, so cute.

The timer on the stove dings and you pull out a covered casserole dish. I take advantage of the view, admiring the curves of your body. We haven't slept together yet, wanting to let the magic between us unfold a little bit, but I never hesitate to appreciate your body. I take a sip of wine as you turn around, hoping that you didn't know I was staring. The sparkle in your eyes was all I needed to see to know that I hadn't been as sly as I thought.

My friends think it's strange that we haven't had sex yet. Not that I'm a slut by any means, but I am very open about my sex life and my appetite. You and I had a brief conversation about not wanting to rush anything and we are on the same page. I can tell you want me by the hooded look your eyes have when they met mine at times, the way you hum when we kiss, the way you curl into me, the spark I feel. You know how I feel as well, I see you get bashful when you catch me staring, and I am never shy about letting my hands roam your body. But, we both want to explore this thing blooming between us in courtship, getting to know one another, for as long as possible. It's as if we both understand that this is really it and we have all the time in the world to progress to more physical fun, things.

And, I love this part. I love getting to see you open up in new ways, letting myself really see you and feel you without mixing sex and hormones. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely hormones involved, but getting to know more of what makes you you, what makes you tick, what makes you who you are and what you like will only help me make you feel everything I want you to feel when we finally take that leap.

I want to know what will make you gasp, moan, call out my name.

The more I know about you fully clothed, the more I will know about you naked, underneath me, on top of me.

I must have been staring off again, because you call my name and look at me expectantly. I blush and apologize, and you lean over and kiss my forehead, grabbing my hand and leading me into the living room. Apparently, the eggplant parmesan that smells amazing has to cool.

I ask you more about your Abuela, you previously had not talked about her much. You look away for a moment before turning back to me with a small, sad smile, and explain that you haven't seen her for a while, since you came out. Your eyes glaze over for a few seconds with unshed tears, and I know a hug would have been overwhelming for you, so I squeeze your knee, letting you know I'm here. I let the silence sink between us for a moment before you tell me your coming out story.

And my heart breaks for you.

This time I do pull you into a hug, kissing the side of your head, letting my actions do the talking.

You smile and apologize for the dip in the evening. You're so silly. I kiss you soft, sweet, full of emotion. "Never apologize for showing me more of you."

You smile and kiss me this time, before hopping off the couch, smiling and holding out your hand for me, pulling me into the kitchen. Your mood returned to its light, flirty, fun nature and I am glad for it. I love seeing new layers of you, but I also love it when you flirt. You are a world class flirt, babe.

I can't resist myself, pulling up behind you as you stir the sauce on the stove, wrapping my arms around your waist, moving your long dark hair to one side of your head to kiss your neck silly.

I know I made the right decision in waiting to kiss you until our third date. I know we made the right decision about waiting to get naked. I love that we can be intimate with one another without throwing our clothes off. It will only make throwing our clothes off more meaningful, emotional, spectacular.

And, I know in my heart that once we take that leap, there will be no one else for me.

You walk over with a sly smile on your face, setting our dishes in front of us. I carefully take my first bite and am in heaven. You hold your fork in front of your mouth, looking at me for a reaction before you take a bite. The giant smile you flash me says it all.

After I helped you load the dishwasher, ignoring your commands to stop, and smacking your delicious behind while you were bent over, we moved to the couch to continue talking.

You ask me what my coming out story was like, and I give you a small smile before explaining to you that I never really had one. I never hid my feelings or attractions from my parents, or my family, I am who I am and I like who I like. My parents were accepting, and for the most part so was my family, but there were a few in the older generation who didn't get it. But, as I got older, it became less of an issue.

I feel a little bit guilty telling you how easy it was for me, after you explained your horrible story. You must have noticed my body language, because you leaned in and gave me an innocent kiss, holding eye contact before saying "I'm glad not everyone has to go through chaos."

We start kissing in earnest then, making out on the couch for a while, letting our hands roam but being careful not to get too worked up without any follow through. The way your lips, tongue, hands roam all over me works some kind of magic I've never felt before. I am lost in you.

We are both lost in each other until our bubble is burst by someone slamming a door in the hallway. You pull away from my lips, all hooded eyes and dimples and panting, and I want to have you right there. But I know it's not our moment yet. You and I are destined to have a moment, an ignition, a sign. It's not here yet, but it's getting closer. Before you can move across the couch, I kiss your left cheek and whisper my adoration of your dimples into your ear. I feel you gasp on top of me.

I make to get up off the couch and get ready to leave, it's late and we both have work in the morning, but you pout. You actually pout and I can't handle it. We haven't even been dating for very long and already your pout is enough to make me stop time for you. I tilt my head questioning your look, "I don't want to be without you yet. I'm not ready for tonight to be over." your voice is husky from our kisses and it cuts right through me.

How could I possibly ever leave your side when you say things like that?

You pull my legs over your lap on the couch and I settle in, grabbing the tv remote off the coffee table. Knowing we were done with the kissing and the fun times for the night, I flick the tv on and start channel surfing. You rub my calves and shins and let your hands wander while we look for something to watch. I'm too focused on your hands, the way my body is still thrumming from your lips, not paying attention when you ask me to stop on something. It's your favorite late night program, and a favorite musician of yours will be playing. You look bashful over your excitement, but I just smile. It's endearing and so, so cute. You are so, so cute. You are so, so everything.

I settle into a quiet reverie with you on the couch. This is what I love about us. We are in our own kind of honeymoon phase. We are content to be with each other, curled on the couch, spending time together. Intimate but not physical. Learning about one another, learning each other's touch, breath, pulse.

You started falling asleep before the musical act, and I nudge you softly with my foot. You startle as you wake, but your eyes melt into deep pools when you see that I'm still here. Your smile is warm and big and you give me a deep kiss before saying another word.

And it's my favorite kiss.

When the show ends we both stand off the couch, you wrap me up in yours arms, still not wanting to let me go. Kissing my ear before whispering "I like how you look in my apartment, on my couch." It was my turn to gasp, and I feel a warm sensation in my belly.

You walk me to the door and hold out my jacket for me. I kiss you softly, innocently, before thanking you for dinner and squeezing your hand.

And I smile the whole way home.


	11. Kiss Quick

We're at the end of our date and our walking is getting slower and slower as we approach my door. We've kissed before, but just that once. It was enough for me to crave you for lifetimes.

Your hand squeezes mine as we get closer to our destination. I know you're thinking too much, you're in your head. I shake your hand in mine and pull you back to me. Your shoulder bumps mine and I smile at you, "What are you doing in there?"

I see you break out of your trance, you look at me sheepishly. "Sorry, I was thinking about a new move for this routine we're working on. It just came to me. That happens sometimes."

My smile almost breaks my face, "I totally get it. That happens to me, too. Sometimes a song just comes to me and I have to do everything I can to save it there before it runs away."

"Exactly!"

Your eyes are a sparkling blue when you look at me. They are so, so beautiful, I could get lost in them. I want to get lost in them. Every day.

We get closer to my door and you break our hands apart and place your arm around my shoulders, pulling me into you as we walk. My hand feels how strong your back is even through your clothes and the tingling I feel whenever I'm around you grows stronger.

My front stoop comes into view and we both slow. The noisy city sounds around us muted, the world is ours now. Just belonging to us.

You turn to me and kiss my cheek, bringing me into you, encasing me in your arms. Your lips leave my skin and your eyes find mine. I want more. It's written on my face because you lean in and kiss my cheek again, and again, and again, and again, quick and short little kisses. They're just longer than pecks but not enough to soothe my need.

I lock eyes with you again, then kiss your cheek, letting my lips linger on your skin. I don't move as far away from you as you did when I break away. The tingling in my body a buzzing now. I lock eyes with you and kiss your cheek again, but moving so I hit the corner of your lips as well. I hear you gasp in a breath.

I let my lips linger there for a second before they're gone.

My fingers tuck the golden strands of hair that have fallen onto your face behind your ear, and your eyes never leave mine. You look so open and shy about wanting. I lean in let my lips touch the soft skin in front of me, the corner of your mouth there and waiting to be claimed.

Your eyes are wide, all that bravado from our last date nowhere to be found. The look on your face almost brings me to my knees.

"Do you want to kiss me?"

You nod, "So bad."

"Then kiss me."

You don't need to be told twice. Your arm around my shoulders tightens, and the one on my back moves to bring me closer to you as your eyes travel between mine and my lips before you finally, slowly, lean in and capture them with your own.

And just like that time stops and all the breath leaves my body and I am lost in you.

I never want to be lost anywhere else.

Our lips move together fluidly, already aware of each other. But you begin pull away after too short of a time and I just can't let you. I follow you and run my tongue across your bottom lip and hear you gasp as you grant me access.

And then, and then I am in heaven.

My hand tangles in your hair as I tilt your head to grant me better access, my other winds around your back, to your slender waist, to hold me steady against you as I swoon.

And then, and then you regain control and slide into my mouth to fill mine, kissing me the way I wanted to be kissed since I laid eyes on you.

Kissing me the way I wanted to be kissed since I knew how great kissing was.

Kissing me the way I want to be kissed for the rest of my life.

Your lips so soft against mine, your tongue dancing so perfectly, your skin sparking with our energy beneath my fingers, your little sounds threatening to kill me.

And then, just like that it's over. And your lips are moving from mine and your arms are squeezing me tight and my eyes stay closed to bask in the kiss just a second longer. And when I take a breath and open my eyes I find yours shining above me.

The feeling inside of me, the feeling growing and moving within my limbs, my soul, it's as if everything within me has finally clicked into place.

Cupping your cheeks with both hands I stare at you for a moment, taking you in, before finding those perfect lips.

"Kiss me again."

And you do, and it's new and familiar and the same and different all at once.

And your hair is so smooth beneath my fingers, and your heartbeat so strong against mine, and your arms so steady around me.

And when we part, the shy smiles that we share are the same.

We stand like that, quiet and observant, happy and together, for a few moments. Not ready to part, but unable to kiss again.

If you kiss me again, I'll never want to stop.

"Think if we kiss again we'll blow out the electricity on the street with the energy exchange between us?"

And I just have to giggle because you are just so, so cute.

"Energy exchange?"

"Yup," you nod, your eyes sparkling with humor, "can't you feel it?"

"Mhhhm." I hum, my thumbs caressing your cheeks.

I watch as your eyes change, and become alight with something I don't quite know yet, but I hope I get to find out. I stand up on my tippy toes and kiss your cheek again.

"I guess…" I kiss your other cheek, "we don't…" and your nose, "want that." and finally your forehead before I release you with a pop of my lips.

"Don't we?" and you grab me again and brush your lips with mine, softer, sweeter than before.

It's over before I know it and I miss your lips, and the way you taste like sunshine and home and our chocolate dessert. I can't think of a more perfect ending to our night.

You take a step back and pull my hands into yours, squeezing as you find my eyes, "Goodnight, Santana."

And the way my name rolls off your lips sends chills down my spine.

And I can feel the air between us growing thick with something special.

"Goodnight, Britt."

You bring my hand to your mouth and kiss it, never breaking eye contact with me, your smile filled with a thousand promises.

And then you're gone. And even as I watch you fade slowly into the neighborhood around us, I can feel your energy all around me.


End file.
